Behind Closed Doors

Behind Closed Doors

I open my eyes like floodgates,
And the world outside pours in,
As mine pours out.
I can see the happiness, the sadness, the elation and the pain
And they flood, and overwhelm

I close my eyes and run away
Not from what I see in them,
But what they can see in me.
The gates have closed, the river drains
And with it I will fall.

My fall breaks, crashing into thought.
I land in my confusion, I can feel and I can hear
Yet all is dark, and I’m running
Up and down the streets, it’s a city.
I can feel everything, but I hear emptiness
Running away, or chasing transparent ideas
On the streets I become aware
Familiar signs and stores
A girl is sweeping the dirt off the porch
And I’ve been here before.

Speeding through the shroud, I crash a second time.
My thoughts, again, have thrown me down
And I am skidding
Across the cold concrete of my world,
Over the fragments of a mirror shattered
The fear cuts deep
But I continue to chase through the dark
I do not feel my arms wet with blood,
Glass embedded in ruptured veins
But I chase on, and on, to the unknown
And I am falling.

“The water’s warm, get in!  Get in!”  A leprechaun declared.
And I’m in a pool now, everything is still.
I lay suspended in the water of my thoughts
The chlorine stings my torn arms, and I don’t mind,
I will stay inside the water, and take me where it will.
I can see once again, my world is filled with moonlight,
The eye in the sea stares back at me, as it fades into the night.
Complacent, I sit upon my throne of questions
Behind closed doors, dreaming.
I open my eyes once more to see,
And they’re watching.